L.L. Vanilla Q. Cubus

I got pimpin cars
their rims big as houses
betta show me respect
else I be stealin yo spouses

I been shot three times
but like dem rims what keep spinnin
I got mo bling now
and I be sippin on my gin'n...

...tonic
I got chronic
like the plague, I'm bubonic
bad like robotnic in sonic
all the bitches wannit
you try to draw, I already drawnit
you think you on, I'm already on it

so Hey, Hoe
all my niggaz say
Hey, Hoe
we be chillin say
Hey, Hoe
Hey, Hoe

when I'm in da club
all my bitches be bouncin
there be so much krystal
slike a mutha fuckin fountain

I see some fine ass
like a panther I'm pouncin
we get off in da corner
we be screwin not dancin

Ladies love my bling
I'm da king
verile like a spring
I be fornicating
wit no ring
you aint fit to be under my wing
you suck, you got nothing

so Hey, Hoe
all my niggaz say
Hey, Hoe
we be chillin say
Hey, Hoe
Hey, Hoe

Ya try ta cross me?
ya best take what's commin
I know kung foo shit
you gonna be runnin

I'll cut you, you fucker
you'll pay for it in blood
I'll stab you, I'll slice you
shove yo face in the mud

you be so messed up
you own mamma be shunnin
be she aint safe neither
cause I'm'ma come gunnin...

...her down
I see your frown
you scared you fuckin clown
you beta leave town
don't wanna see you aroun
I wear the crown
you wear a fuckin gown
I'm'ma kill you, yo face be white, no mo' brown

so Hey, Hoe
all my niggaz say
Hey, Hoe
we be chillin say
Hey, Hoe
Hey, Hoe


what? WHAT??
that's right

don't tell me

my girlfriend is so nice. we had lunch on a rainbow, and i didn't eat the grapes. then we ate dinner for free because we had to wait in the desert for forty days and nights. it was a white pizza with green. also my phone was alone on the couch. it called to say it missed me and i had to buy it chocolate before it forgave me. but we are friends again.

no one will be the wizer

now everyone will think I'm the real Daniel.....ha ha ha

might be going to italy

I'm so tired, I wish I were asleep. but alas, now I am listening to queen. somtimes you wonder, "where did those bands get their name?" but not with queen. whe don't ask that question because we don't like where it leads us.

On a different note, I was looking for a song on my computer screen the other day and I clicked on it and it wouldn't play. then I realized that the computer was off. So I turned upside down and tried again. the second time it worked of course, because they always say third time's a charm. you just can't argue with something when it rhymes. even if it doesn't actually rhyme with anything like purple.

be careful

I noticed i've been writing things that are far too meaningful for my target audience, that being myself. so i'll take things down a notch and tell me a story about something I may or may not have actually done.
my wife was killed by a one armed man, so I was mad and sad. then, they accused me so I ran away. then I saved a busload of schoolchildren from a fire, and all their mothers liked me. and then I carved a totem pole, it went: frog, rabbit, bear, horse, cougar, pigeon, rat. from top to bottom, in that order. then I rolled the totem pole down a hill and it crushed all the innocent bystanders exactly the way a feather wouldn't. (the bystanders were evil for some reason)

The Gambler

On a warm summer's eve, on a train bound for nowhere, I met up with a gambler, we were both too tired to sleep. So we took turns a starin', out the window at the darkness, the boredom overtook us, and he began to speak:

he said, "son I work at the bay and they gave me this free watch so I'm gonna put it in the pot" and he did. And I won the pot, and took the watch, and now I have a watch. You can move the hands by pushing a button instead of turning a knob. I think there are tiny gnomes in there and when you push the button a red light flashes and the foregnome says, "allright boys, heave, ho, heave, ho" and they all push with all their strength and advance the minute hand by 20 seconds.
it only moves forwards though

foil

for those who care, tinfoil is made of tin, not aluminum. Aluminum foil is made of aluminum. Not to many people use tinfoil because its hard to find because its poison for your food. Also its flowy, like fabric, and doesn't keep its shape too well. you can't out chemistry me, my dear anonymous ( which sounds far to much like "a non-mouse").
on a lighter note I finally got the kenny rogers song, I had to download a complete anthology of his to get it, but now I can dance the jig to my buddy kenny whenever I so chose. ho-down at my place tonight, bring your cowboy hats and boots, I'll bring the music

and I'd have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids

it would appear my evil face did not fit on one line. damn, foiled agian

Kenny

I am seething with anger. "she believes in my" sung by kenny rogers has alluded, or eluded me yet again. someone will pay
I bet it will be me because I'm not sleeping
damn
oh well, you know who slept don't you.....Hitler! }:-<, that's my evil face I just invented, I'm so clever

warning

Today I found a place that gives you free cookies and tea. It was like alice in wonderland but with less talking animals. Unless you count people as animals, in which case there are more talking animals. and a piano. I don't really like tea, but I like cream and sugar and cookies. also, I folded a napkin into a crown and evan put it on his head but it fell off cause it was too small. and then he used it as a cup holder, and I said , "ha, that's exactly what I wanted you to do with it, ha ha ha ha." and then he took a sip and pretended to choke. and then he did choke.
Clearly I have the power to choke people, like darth vader, or the mummy (not the new mummy, the old mummy who was black and white and really scary). So for the good of humanity i'm locking myself in my room. I am a danger to others.