ow

my back hurts

shut up

so many fuckers complain about how the world isn't perfect. shut up!! nothing is perfect and nothing ever will be. complain about something useful, or at least something that is possible. like hungry children or mustard that squirts out of the bottle too fast. perfection doesn't exist, if it did, it would make me wrong, which therefore, would be imperfect , because in a perfect world no one would ever be wrong. HA I win

I'm back and off the crack

I came home to find a poster on the wall. There was a hot woman in bed with two guys and on top it said, "I'm back and off the crack."

Underneath there are pictures of her penis.

Why is it on the wall? I don't understand.

Reality Makeover TV

i invented a new reality TV show. it's called "surprise sex change". They find random people and tell them they've won a free makeover, then they blindfold them, then they tell them the smell is just hair bleach, but actually it is chloroform. when they're unconscious, they get a sex change and get made over as the opposite sex. instant hit.